Well maybe I’m a bit further along in my Jedi training than I imagined. I met the haircut chick at a wine bar near my house where they know me and it’s in a fairly upscale part of town. This gives two impressions - since they know me and are friendly when I arrive it means I’m a nice guy. Since it’s in a nice part of town and they know me, it means I come here a lot (I do) and I’m comfortable in nice surroundings which means I’m a stable, normal guy.

Who jizzes on girls for a living. Okay I never tell them that part.

Anyway we had a glass of wine and hopped into my SUV to go to a movie. (Eragon…terrible movie, crimes against the English language, too numerous to mention. Seriously someone should ban this guy from screenwriting because he repeatedly violates the ‘three-movie-cliches-per-page’ rule in his script.) I accelerated the kino during the movie, held her hand, touched her thigh, etc. By the time the Harry Potter clone guy was riding the dragon HER hand was in MY lap.

This is a good sign as it gives you a nearly 100% chance of escalating to the BJ-close. First you have to lean in and whisper a snarky comment about the movie. Do this once or twice and then kiss her the third time. See how she kisses, if she’s really oral, gives you the tongue, kinda sloppy…it’s on.

I think the key to the BJ close is finding a girl who you have a bit of chemistry with who has a real oral fetish.

Here’s how easy the BJ close is: in the parking lot of the movie theatre we start making out. There aren’t any other cars around so I tell her that she really got me going in the movie and she should finish me off. Z-i-i-i-i-i-i-p. It’s that easy. So I’m one blowjob richer and I might even date her again to see how she is in the sack.

A lot of times I write about Game - like how to pick up broads in bars and at clubs and things like I’m a guru.

I’m not, not really. At best I’m Luke at the start of Empire Strikes Back, well maybe halfway through when he’s carrying Yoda on his back but still can’t lift the X-wing. My point is, it’s a journey. And I hate to say it, but girls in bars are low hanging fruit, no matter how hot they are. Banging a 10 you meet in a bar is 100 times easier than banging an 8 you meet at the post office.

Weird but true.

So recently I think I progressed another level in my Poon-Jedi training. (All due respect, George Lucas.) I was able to score a date with a hottie who was cutting my hair. The thing is, as you progress down the road of game your skills get honed like a hunter’s and it gets easier and easier.

So, I’m getting my hair cut the other day and my regular girl isn’t there, her replacement is a lovely 20-something blonde with very perky B cup jugs and an amazing smile. So, she calls me back and introduces herself. I sit, she and I make a little small talk and she goes to work with a trimmer. After a bit, I turn my rap up a notch and we seems to be clicking. She smells great and she’s leaning in to talk to me…caressing my neck and shoulders as she trims my hair. Next it’s shampoo time and as we walk to the sink I touch her arm to give her some positive, non-creepy kino.

When she lays me back in the chair and goes to work, but she’s obviously into me, she’s leaning extra far over to wash my hair and brushing her tits against my arm and shoulder, etc. Now at this point you’re probably saying - oh she just wants a big tip. Well maybe, but it was more than that, I was able to lock in with her very easily, and keep reading. You’ll see.

So she takes me back and sits me down and finishes my cut. We talk some more and I keep my rap moving along and after the cut and before I’ve paid I number close her.

Now if a chick is trying to get a big tip she might make something up or give you a fake number, to prevent this I always program the number into my phone as she watches and then I call it on the spot, to see if the number rings her phone. In this case it did and she smiled a big “Call me!” smile as I left. Which I did a couple of days later. I told her I loved my haircut but I was far more interested in seeing her.

So…we’re going out tomorrow night. I’m going to lay the BJ close on her and see what happens. Tune in tomorrow night. Sorry, no video for you, she’s for me only, guys. Seriously, can I get a couple of non blog blowjobs on my own time? I know Ordinary Pornstar is the Official BlowJob Blog of a playa, but I need some me time.

What the FUCK is wrong with people?? Seriously, THESE are the 4 finalists for best car movie ever? Hello, Ronin?

From HotRod.com: It’s Down to the Final Four, So Which Movie is the Best Car Movie Ever?

Bullitt (1968): 21%

American Graffiti (1973): 52%

Smokey and The Bandit (1977): 13%

Gone In Sixty Seconds (2000): 12%

THANKS FOR VOTING! Thanks for your opinion. Total Votes: 4355

In the grand holiday spirit I thought I’d name a few of my favorite things. And…they aren’t even all dirty. So…feel free to add yours in comments.

1. At the top of my list is…girls who give head and swallow. After all the only reason I can afford any of my other favorite things is because Ordinary Pornstar blog is alive and kicking.

2. Things that unexpectedly glow in the dark.

3. Lasers. (Long story.)

4. Things that are machined or welded in a really cool way. (Titanium bikes, say.)

5. Fast cars, fast bikes, fast women…oooh see number one. (Ducati.)

6. When you can see a woman’s undies through her clothes, I love that. (Check your hard drive, perve. I know you have a collection.)

7. Super expensive watches. (Panerai.)

8. Stereo speakers made of carbon fiber. (Wilson Benesch.)

9. Most of the stuff Steve Jobs craps out. (Apple.)

10. Formula 1. (Greatest motorsport ever.)

So there’s my top ten, why not add a few of your own. Links are good, easy on the comment spam.

Often times a younger brother will come to me and ask my advice on game. It’s like a Luke-Yoda thing. Obviously my skills have evolved over the years and I am always free with advice. It was the guys who came before me who took me under their wings to learn what I know, so I return the favor.

Recently one of my younger friends asked my advice on a common problem: where do you take a girl on a date to get some action? This is easy, of course: back to her place. What if she lives a great distance away OR has roommates? Well you could bring her to your place, but that’s usually a bad idea because a) you have another chick stashed there already or b) you don’t want to clue her in to where you live. Well the next best option is a hotel. but do you really want to waste $100 nailing a chick who you don’t like enough to take to your house?

Me neither. So, our discussion progressed to Plan D. Where do you take a chick you don’t like that much, but you still want to feed her a hearty meal of chub chowder?

I have several backup plans depending on the girl. The top of the list, for a girl I might actually call again is a no brainer, I take her to my office. It’s located in a converted house with commercial zoning, so it could pass as my place. Next up on the list is trickier, though.

My three ‘last resort’ booty spots are a) empty movie theater. If you are smart and do a bit of homework you can figure out which theaters in your area are likely to be empty and at what times. Recently I got a full on blowjob during a viewing of ‘Snakes on A Plane’…so you know, I really liked the film. b) My truck. I have a decent sized vehicle as a grocery getter and I’ve had full sex in the backseat. Hmmmn, it wasn’t 3 weeks ago that I got a nice hummer in the front seat, so either is a go. One tip - let her drive to the date and then after offer to drive her to her car. This gives you a nice opening to get your wiener wiped. c) if you meet at a mall sneak into the family restroom, you can lock the door so it’s private and there’s usually a couch. Plus 9 times out of 10 nobody is using these things unless you go in the middle of the day during the holiday shopping season.

So..feel free to leave comments with suggestions of your favorite booty spots.