On occasion I get email from faithful readers asking my professional advice as a pornographer and man about town. Here’s the most recent…I felt like this fellow could use some words of advice.

I have been in Hawaii for about a week. I did the whole site seeing thing. I came to Hawaii to get away from Japan but on New Years night I saw so many Japanese here. I thought to myself this is how I spent last New Years, so I jumped a cab and told him to take me to a strip club. I went to spot that had a Mama San running it. Why do Mama-San’s have the power. They are the best pimps. Anyway I got in the spot and saw some Asian chicks and a white chick. I never tire of seeing Asian chicks in porn but in real life the sex has never been the bomb. So I took the white chick. She fell under the Good Quality Pussy
at discount prices category. I still end up hating myself in the morning for spending so much cash. Any advice on stopping myself from buying pussy?

Well my anonymous friend I do have some advice. But you need to ask yourself if you even want to take it. You’ve got a bad case of Zoo Lion Syndrome.

There are two types of lions in the world, zoo lions and wild lions. You’ve been to the zoo; a zoo lion lies around all day feeling sad, the memory of the hunt and the kill fading quickly. They rarely roar. Their spine is slumped, eyes glazed. They wait listlessly for the zoo keeper to drop off a load of meat.

The Mama San is your zoo keeper, my friend.

A zoo lion is depressed because it knows at an instinctual level that it doesn’t belong here, to be leered at by slack jawed yokels. The reason you feel bad after paying for poon is that you know that deep down it’s wrong. Those hookers are making a sucker out of you. Like all of the best things in life, pussy is free. And when it’s not, it’s no good.

Now a wild lion, surely you’ve seen those nature films of wild lions in Africa! Proud, majestic predators. They take down a fucking water buffalo or zebra with nothing but instinct, teeth and claws. You have that instinct! Your caveman ancestors never paid for pussy, they took it! (Disclaimer - this is not an endorsement of caveman style rape.)

You CAN be a wild lion again (or for the first time)!! You need to quit buying pussy cold turkey. No lap dances, no hand jobs. If it’s not free you can’t have it. There’s no other way. You need to (figuratively) go back to Africa where if you don’t kill it, you starve.

If you can’t live with this you’ll die as a zoo lion and that should be unacceptable to you.

So, step one. Give up the paid pussy for good.

Step two, wash the stink of desperation off you and get some free pussy. Granted there’s more to this than just wanting it, so sit down, pull your monitor up close and read every essay on my site about The Game. There’s enough there to get you started. Get inspired and then go out and try it out. If you fail, go home and beat off, and try again the next day.

I can GUARANTEE you this, friend, if you work at it it WILL happen. You WILL figure out how to do it.