If you are a faithful blog reader you know I think of myself as a bit of a player. And the term player obviously means that there’s a game. I think I’ve learned a lot about game but every once in a while I just get schooled by a true grand master. Either it’s some guy who’s far more technically proficient than I am OR it’s by some guy is an absolute natural.

This past week I got some great lessons by a guy who was so good that I couldn’t even tell if he was a master or a natural, but this guy had more game than Milton Bradley and BOTH of the Parker Brothers. At times like this you just have to sit back and watch and hope you learn something useful.

At first when he made his approach I thought he was a buffoon, but it worked so amazingly well I was absolutely shocked and sat in stunned awe for at least an hour watching this guy. His opener was simply classic, he spotted one for the girls at the bar and had seen her before so when she waved he came over and said, I shit you not:

“Hey baby, I remember you from the other night, I must’ve beaten off to you 15 times since then.”

Really what can you say to a guy with balls that big? Me? I bought him a drink and watched him work.

There were three girls at the bar and he neatly placed himself between me and them, completely cutting me off and dominating the situation. If this was a less talented guy I’d have moved my way in and teamed up with him or pushed him out, but it was a lesson to see this guy work. I didn’t think his rap was that great as he kinda played a bit of a clown, but he was tuned into something because in no time these three girls were hanging on every word. In fact, when he left for a bit they couldn’t stop talking about him. “Oh, can you believe he said this??” or “Did you hear this??”

It was amazing. After about 35 minutes of banter, and after not buying a single drink for himself or any of these three chicks, he left the bar with one of them on his arm. That was it. It was like watching a team of Navy seals take on some Boy Scouts in a bar fight.

This guy was playing a game I don’t do well at which is the big, gregarious personality. I’m just not that flashy, but if you can master it, it’s stunningly effective. One thing I always advise and I have always BEEN advised is that you find a game that you are comfortable with. I do the cocky-funny very well since I’m naturally cocky and funny, but when a guy like this comes in who does the giant personality thing? You might as well go home alone but wiser.

Well maybe I’m a bit further along in my Jedi training than I imagined. I met the haircut chick at a wine bar near my house where they know me and it’s in a fairly upscale part of town. This gives two impressions - since they know me and are friendly when I arrive it means I’m a nice guy. Since it’s in a nice part of town and they know me, it means I come here a lot (I do) and I’m comfortable in nice surroundings which means I’m a stable, normal guy.

Who jizzes on girls for a living. Okay I never tell them that part.

Anyway we had a glass of wine and hopped into my SUV to go to a movie. (Eragon…terrible movie, crimes against the English language, too numerous to mention. Seriously someone should ban this guy from screenwriting because he repeatedly violates the ‘three-movie-cliches-per-page’ rule in his script.) I accelerated the kino during the movie, held her hand, touched her thigh, etc. By the time the Harry Potter clone guy was riding the dragon HER hand was in MY lap.

This is a good sign as it gives you a nearly 100% chance of escalating to the BJ-close. First you have to lean in and whisper a snarky comment about the movie. Do this once or twice and then kiss her the third time. See how she kisses, if she’s really oral, gives you the tongue, kinda sloppy…it’s on.

I think the key to the BJ close is finding a girl who you have a bit of chemistry with who has a real oral fetish.

Here’s how easy the BJ close is: in the parking lot of the movie theatre we start making out. There aren’t any other cars around so I tell her that she really got me going in the movie and she should finish me off. Z-i-i-i-i-i-i-p. It’s that easy. So I’m one blowjob richer and I might even date her again to see how she is in the sack.

A lot of times I write about Game - like how to pick up broads in bars and at clubs and things like I’m a guru.

I’m not, not really. At best I’m Luke at the start of Empire Strikes Back, well maybe halfway through when he’s carrying Yoda on his back but still can’t lift the X-wing. My point is, it’s a journey. And I hate to say it, but girls in bars are low hanging fruit, no matter how hot they are. Banging a 10 you meet in a bar is 100 times easier than banging an 8 you meet at the post office.

Weird but true.

So recently I think I progressed another level in my Poon-Jedi training. (All due respect, George Lucas.) I was able to score a date with a hottie who was cutting my hair. The thing is, as you progress down the road of game your skills get honed like a hunter’s and it gets easier and easier.

So, I’m getting my hair cut the other day and my regular girl isn’t there, her replacement is a lovely 20-something blonde with very perky B cup jugs and an amazing smile. So, she calls me back and introduces herself. I sit, she and I make a little small talk and she goes to work with a trimmer. After a bit, I turn my rap up a notch and we seems to be clicking. She smells great and she’s leaning in to talk to me…caressing my neck and shoulders as she trims my hair. Next it’s shampoo time and as we walk to the sink I touch her arm to give her some positive, non-creepy kino.

When she lays me back in the chair and goes to work, but she’s obviously into me, she’s leaning extra far over to wash my hair and brushing her tits against my arm and shoulder, etc. Now at this point you’re probably saying - oh she just wants a big tip. Well maybe, but it was more than that, I was able to lock in with her very easily, and keep reading. You’ll see.

So she takes me back and sits me down and finishes my cut. We talk some more and I keep my rap moving along and after the cut and before I’ve paid I number close her.

Now if a chick is trying to get a big tip she might make something up or give you a fake number, to prevent this I always program the number into my phone as she watches and then I call it on the spot, to see if the number rings her phone. In this case it did and she smiled a big “Call me!” smile as I left. Which I did a couple of days later. I told her I loved my haircut but I was far more interested in seeing her.

So…we’re going out tomorrow night. I’m going to lay the BJ close on her and see what happens. Tune in tomorrow night. Sorry, no video for you, she’s for me only, guys. Seriously, can I get a couple of non blog blowjobs on my own time? I know Ordinary Pornstar is the Official BlowJob Blog of a playa, but I need some me time.

Often times a younger brother will come to me and ask my advice on game. It’s like a Luke-Yoda thing. Obviously my skills have evolved over the years and I am always free with advice. It was the guys who came before me who took me under their wings to learn what I know, so I return the favor.

Recently one of my younger friends asked my advice on a common problem: where do you take a girl on a date to get some action? This is easy, of course: back to her place. What if she lives a great distance away OR has roommates? Well you could bring her to your place, but that’s usually a bad idea because a) you have another chick stashed there already or b) you don’t want to clue her in to where you live. Well the next best option is a hotel. but do you really want to waste $100 nailing a chick who you don’t like enough to take to your house?

Me neither. So, our discussion progressed to Plan D. Where do you take a chick you don’t like that much, but you still want to feed her a hearty meal of chub chowder?

I have several backup plans depending on the girl. The top of the list, for a girl I might actually call again is a no brainer, I take her to my office. It’s located in a converted house with commercial zoning, so it could pass as my place. Next up on the list is trickier, though.

My three ‘last resort’ booty spots are a) empty movie theater. If you are smart and do a bit of homework you can figure out which theaters in your area are likely to be empty and at what times. Recently I got a full on blowjob during a viewing of ‘Snakes on A Plane’…so you know, I really liked the film. b) My truck. I have a decent sized vehicle as a grocery getter and I’ve had full sex in the backseat. Hmmmn, it wasn’t 3 weeks ago that I got a nice hummer in the front seat, so either is a go. One tip - let her drive to the date and then after offer to drive her to her car. This gives you a nice opening to get your wiener wiped. c) if you meet at a mall sneak into the family restroom, you can lock the door so it’s private and there’s usually a couch. Plus 9 times out of 10 nobody is using these things unless you go in the middle of the day during the holiday shopping season.

So..feel free to leave comments with suggestions of your favorite booty spots.

I have gotten great response in the past on my essays about the girl game, so I figured I’d spit some more knowledge.

There is a dividing line in history [I say history, but I mean my history, however since my history is all I’ll ever experience it might as well be all of history.] before which I didn’t know anything about women and after which I knew everything. Well not everything, but all the important stuff, like how to get them to have sex with me.

Probably one of the most common questions I get is: so Thomas, you mack you, so I’ve upped my game and I got a girl’s phone number and now we’re going out. WHAT THE HELL DO I DO NOW????????? [okay I made that intro part up…]

Well, I’m going to tell you but this is some tricky shit, guys. It’s not that difficult but there’s a secret. A date is a subliminal message. Now if you DON’T know this, you’re fucked. But I just told you, so now you know and you can un-fuck yourself. Think of a date like a marketing campaign. If you’ve checked out your Leykis 101 you know that the purpose of a date is to get laid. However, that’s like saying that the purpose of a job is to become a millionaire, well it may be but there’s a lot of real estate in between. The bottom line is this – the way you act on a date gives a chick a clue as to how you’re going to act in the sack. Don’t know what a chick wants in the sack? Well pick up an issue of Cosmo, dude.

I’m serious, best $5 you’ll spend all month. I shit you not. Women want a man to be a man, they want some adventure, some comfort, some humor. Seriously, incorporate these into a date and you’ll get laid, bottom line.

Have you seen the film The Tao of Steve? No? As soon as you are done reading this essay and renewing your subscription to one of the sites I promote for November [Heh heh] go rent it and watch it. In the movie they tell you everything you need to do on a date to get laid. I’ll paraphrase:

1. Eliminate your desire.
2. Be excellent in her presence.
3. Then you must retreat.

Basically this means that you need to avoid being a drunken loutish horn dog, you need to demonstrate your sexual worthiness and you need to back off and let the woman chase you, because women desire what retreats. I’m a little down on step three, because I have never had a woman chase me down and tackle me and give me a hummer, but it’s a subtle dance. See how these illustrate the four things I mentioned above? By eliminating your desire you show a woman that you are man and not a boy and you control your cock, your cock doesn’t control you.

Okay, so this is a complete lie, but chicks want to believe it right?

So, none of this sounds useful yet, right? Well this is your marketing plan, guys. This is the sales pitch you’re making to your chick and if you do it correctly there’s punani at the end of the rainbow. You need to incorporate all of these into a date to plant a message your girl’s head – “Gee this is a guy I’d sure like to fuck!” So let me give you a concrete example of how I did this recently on a date with a striking 22 year old blonde.

On the spur of the moment we went to a Mexican bar, I’d gotten her number about a week before but never called her [retreat…]. I did however, send her a message via MySpace as she’d insisted on telling me her MySpace handle. She messaged me back and I asked her out on the spot. We went to the bar, got a little buzzy and then I leaned in all conspiratorially and whispered, “Hey, how late can you stay up? Late enough for an adventure?” She smiled and said yes and we were off. Now when you hear about this it’ll sound fucking stupid, but in the moment when it’s all mysterous and shit, girls dig that. Trust. All those dating books that tell you to do stupid shit like go on a scavenger hunt? Fuck that. It takes very little to make a fun adventurous date if you sell it well.

So, a buddy of mine has a very cool house on a mountainside and the ‘adventure’ was to go look at the city lights from his amazing back deck. [I didn’t tell her this, nor did I tell her that I had my buddy’s permission. A taking a girl into a little ‘danger’ and getting her out safely is an example of being a dengerous yet tough guy!] So we went out to our cars and I asked if she minded if we drove a bit and then I got a flashlight and a blanket from my trunk [more mystery but also, demonstrating that I’m a manly man as I’m prepared for shit, putting the idea in her head that when we fuck she can be assured that I’ll have the raincoats ready.] You see how I’m doing this? You can do the same, just think it through.

We drove up to my buddy’s place and crept up his driveway, since she was making too much noise in her heels I made her kick them off and gave her a piggy back ride around to the deck. [This demonstrates trust – that I won’t drop her, adds a bit of non-sexual physical contact to make her comfortable, and demonstrates that I’m a man again, as I can carry a woman. PS – this trick doesn’t work on fatties, heh.] So we hung out on the deck for a while, made out a bit and then went back to the car.

As we drove back to her house to drop her off she went on and on about how much fun she’d had, what a great view, all that crap. What she was really telling me is that she wanted my cock. However, when we got to her house I leaned over and kissed and told her that I knew it was very late and I’d kept her up. When she gave me the sad eyes, I knew it was on and I hinted that maybe it wasn’t THAT late and perhaps I should walk her inside for another drink. So bing, bang bongo, ten minutes later I was drilling her like a Texas oilman.

What would a guy with no game have done? Well he’d have probably met her at the bar, had a couple of drinks, felt her up and tried to con her into coming home with him and gone home alone instead and beat off to internet porn…but something good, like this site, IFM.com.