One great thing that the porn biz has taught me is how to score with chicks. Not porn chicks, either. Regular hot chicks. Chicks I meet in a bar, chicks from MySpace or Craig’s List. Loyal readers know I often give out tips about scoring with chicks. These are not those bullshit tips that you see on typical men’s dating site, either. I hand out actual, tested, actionable intel. All for one low, low price.

No, no I kid. It’s free.

Why do I give out this valuable advice for free you might ask? Because in the end it will benefit me. You see I, like most men, like to fuck chicks. And I, like most men, like to fuck different chicks. Lot’s of ‘em. The number one problem that prevents me and most of y’all from banging more chicks isn’t our own skill at bedding broads, no! It’s those cock-blocking motherfuckers that think the only way to get a woman in the sack is to be her boyfriend. For every one of those poor suckers I educate I’m throwing a trout back in the stream for the rest of us anglers.

The only reason those guys are doing that and not sharing the bounty of fucking lots of chicks all the time is because they don’t know that there’s a better way. I don’t tell girls that they’re my girlfriend to get in their panties. Hell half the time I don’t tell a girl my last name before I feed her the dick.

How? Game my friends, game.

Most everybody knows a guy with game. But what most guys don’t know is that they can have game, too. You just have to get the player’s mindset. Working in porn is like game boot camp, you have a thousand competitors and you have to make yourself different and sell your site. It’s no different that walking up to the hottest girl in a bar and getting her number.

So today’s lesson is a primer for the player to be. A baby step towards being a ten foot tall pussy slayer.

Today’s Lesson — Getting laid by decent looking chicks off Craig’s List.

1. Market research. Look, you cannot start an ad campaign without researching the market and seeing what your competition is doing. Go to Craig’s List. Set up an ad using a Yahoo mailbox. An ad for a Woman seeking a Man. Yes, you read that right. Go swipe a pic of a decent looking chick off Google Images or use your sister or cousin or whatever. In fact, just go to Craig’s List in a different city and swipe an entire ad. Post it and wait for the emails to start pouring in. And they will POUR in.

2. Start reading that shit. This is what your potential fuck buddy is seeing when she puts an ad up. What you are looking for is what NOT to do. You will see a LOT of cut and pasted stock replies, you will see a LOT of sad sack losers who sound like rapists, you will see a LOT of morons sending you pictures of their cocks (Tip: you’re only gay if you save them) and you will see a LOT of guys sending pictures of themselves flexing in muscle shirts.

Think this is too much work? Fine, sit around on your couch playing Xbox and see how many girls come up to the door asking you to fuck them. Anything worth having is worth working for, and a reliable supply of pussy is worth having.

3. One thing you will notice right away is how important it is to craft a subject line that grabs a girl’s attention. When she’s staring at 250 identical subject lines your ass has to stand out. Now you can find you own way here, but here’s what I do: a typical Craig’s reply subject line looks like this: “Feel like getting out? - w4m – 22” so, as your research should have revealed, you’ll see a lot of these. You need to call attention to it, so what I do it add a clever, funny or rude tag line so my reply will be? “Feel like getting out? - w4m – HELLS YEAH BAYBEEEE!!!!!!!!!!” Yes, it’s a little silly. Regardless it will accomplish your first mission, getting her to open your email.

4. The picture. This is also a pretty important way to stand out and get your next goal – a reply email. Your research will, again, have shown you what NOT to do. You need to find a picture that does two things a) makes you look as good looking as your monitor tanned ass possibly can and b) makes you look like a fun guy to go on a date with. I have one where I’m on a beach getting hit in the head with a volleyball. It’s a silly picture but for some weird reason I look good in it. And it has a bit of Abercrombie catalogue to it. One of my buddies has a picture where he’s wearing one of those beer can helmet deals at a baseball game, another uses a picture of him having a light saber fight with someone. All of these are a bit silly but they accomplish points a and b.

5. The email itself. Short and sweet. Say something pithy and clever. Spell it correctly, don’t be creepy, don’t write a book. Say something specifically about her ad so she’ll know you aren’t cutting and pasting to every chick on the page. Tell her what to do next. In advertising we call this a ‘call to action’ say “If you like my picture, write back so we can talk.”

6. Wait. You’ve done all you can do at this point. If you are good you can get a 20% reply rate. So write ten or twenty emails and wait. If all goes well you’ll have 2-4 live leads.

7. The last step is important! Get her off the computer so you can close the deal. Tell her that email is so impersonal, that you have a good feeling about her (don’t mention that it’s in your pants), that you want her number. Give her yours and tell her to text you. The longer you keep swapping emails the more time you risk getting lost in her Inbox.

Beyond this it’s just basic 7th grade follow up. Call her, date her, fuck her. She’s single, she’s desperate, she wants a guy to fuck. Be that guy. Of 2-4 live hot leads you should be able to bang 1 fresh chick per pay period. Some won’t work out. Some will be fatties using the MySpace angle on you. But from the comfort of your home you can drum up a couple of dates a week, one of those is bound to pan out.

You’re welcome guys. Pay me back by dumping that hooker you’re dating so I can drill her.