Well maybe I’m a bit further along in my Jedi training than I imagined. I met the haircut chick at a wine bar near my house where they know me and it’s in a fairly upscale part of town. This gives two impressions - since they know me and are friendly when I arrive it means I’m a nice guy. Since it’s in a nice part of town and they know me, it means I come here a lot (I do) and I’m comfortable in nice surroundings which means I’m a stable, normal guy.

Who jizzes on girls for a living. Okay I never tell them that part.

Anyway we had a glass of wine and hopped into my SUV to go to a movie. (Eragon…terrible movie, crimes against the English language, too numerous to mention. Seriously someone should ban this guy from screenwriting because he repeatedly violates the ‘three-movie-cliches-per-page’ rule in his script.) I accelerated the kino during the movie, held her hand, touched her thigh, etc. By the time the Harry Potter clone guy was riding the dragon HER hand was in MY lap.

This is a good sign as it gives you a nearly 100% chance of escalating to the BJ-close. First you have to lean in and whisper a snarky comment about the movie. Do this once or twice and then kiss her the third time. See how she kisses, if she’s really oral, gives you the tongue, kinda sloppy…it’s on.

I think the key to the BJ close is finding a girl who you have a bit of chemistry with who has a real oral fetish.

Here’s how easy the BJ close is: in the parking lot of the movie theatre we start making out. There aren’t any other cars around so I tell her that she really got me going in the movie and she should finish me off. Z-i-i-i-i-i-i-p. It’s that easy. So I’m one blowjob richer and I might even date her again to see how she is in the sack.