Merry Christmas, Can I Please Scam You?
So, this is a bit of a long story, please bear with me. As it has a happy-ish ending and a public service message.
Recently, because I’m a big time porn celebrity, a highly coveted Playstation 3 found its way into my hands. I wasn’t sure what to do with it as I’m not really much of a gamer. I considered giving to someone on my website’s promotional team, maybe I’d give it away to one of the loyal readers of my blog (ah-hahahahahahahha – just kidding, sorry to tease you…or AM I???) or perhaps just keep it laying around the office for my loyal, talented and hardworking employees to waste valuable work hours with.
In the end I did the American thing – I put it up for sale on Ebay.
Before long I got a ‘Buy It Now’ bid which closed the auction. However, the bidder had zero feedback and had just registered to Ebay this week. Obviously a shill bidder or a scammer. After filing the required paperwork with Ebay I noticed something in my inbox – a note from the bidder. How odd, I thought. Here’s the email:
“Hello Thomas, I need to send a surprise gift to my Son who went on a course Overseas in 497 6634 3452 this it for you to ship out the item (Nigeria) and his birth is coming up this months and luckily i came across your item,as i see that your item is in good condition for that.I will be making the payment through Paypal.kindly send me your Paypal Account Email Address Or Your Invoice,So i can make out your payment immediately & Paypal will notify you of my payment as soon as it has been comfirmed by them & your paypal account will be credited as soon as possible..let me know how much it will cost you in shiping the item to my Son in NIGERIA Using the courier service Royalmail Or Parcelforce Global Express (EMS) & send me the total amount for the item including the shiping cost to Nigeria.So i can make out payment Immediately.I choose the Postal Service Is safe Cheaper & Affordable. Make sure you get the package ready for shipment, You can ship the item as soon as you recieve the paypal confirmation.Please mail me now Cause it`s urgently needed. awaiting your fast reply.”
Here’s the public service announcement: never send anything to Nigeria, if you do you are a dumbass. Nothing. Ever. Never, ever, ever to Nigeria. Even if somebody comes to your house with a Glad bag full of $100 bills, it’s a scam. Nigeria = Scam.
The more you know…cue music.
So just for fun I sent the “bidder” a PayPal invoice and in return I got a some-what realistic looking receipt. Of course a quick check of my PayPal account revealed no payment. So I sent the bidder the following email:
“Dear Nigerian Email scammer, I”m sorry — I”ve been pulling your chain all day on this. You have to be smoking whatever they smoke over there to think anyone will fall for this.
You need to try harder! Come up with a new scam! Take some initiative, history is made by the bold, my friend! This scam would work ten times better if it were original!!
I respect the fact that you are doing your best to hustle us dumb Americans, but this scam is old news.
Merry Christmas and good luck in your future email scamming endeavors!”
Much to my surprise I got the following a few hours later:
“Dear Thomas,
I really appreciate your mail. It really touches my heart. I don’t mind leaving this scam artist work, What leads me there was that my mum and dad divorced and they neither cater for my needs again, so i decided to do what people do overhere which is scam. I don’t want to be a scam artist, i want to go to school but no sponsorer. Please, if you should in any way be my friend and advice. I will really appreciate it. I await your Mail. Thanks”
So I asked for the scammer’s address and sent him off a $100 traveler’s check I had leftover from a recent trip.
Like my old Dad always told me – It’s never a bad policy to take care of people.
So who needs a Playstation 3?
And PS - Ordinary Pornstar blog is awesome.
20 Comments to “Merry Christmas, Can I Please Scam You?”
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On November 22nd, 2006 at 2:29 pm
Your Dad sounds like a very wise man!! I bet the Nigerian will be shocked to get the 100 bucks but you should have at least reported him to ebay. And if you need someone to take the PS3 I’ll do it. Poor college kid with only enough money for a PS3 or HDTV not both.
On November 22nd, 2006 at 6:43 pm
Hey Thomas, I’m a long time admirer of your site, and bit of an amateur porn star myself, although it’s been a few years. Got married, had a kid..you know the story. Well, I really enjoy your commentary and I think we have a lot in common. One thing being, the pickup skills tutorial. I was a master back in the day. I am good at the porn thing because I have a freak radar, and a smooth demeanor, that the innocent little vixens seemed to like. Got to use your god-given talents! We should talk sometime, I have lots of fun stories to share. Plus, if you ever get out to sunny FL again, the girls are a lot cheaper to hire. I have a few in mind for ya. I would love a chance to get that Playstation 3. I really didn’t have the time to wait in line for the system. I’m not going to give you a sob story, just a friendly request to choose me. I would like to send you a sample of my work. I have been to many a Internext in FL and filmed with a few minor stars. But my forte is young girls, A cups!(18+ of course) there are a plentitude of them here in Central FL. Well, look forward to your response, your humble admirer.
Marc - adamlak@yahoo.com
On November 23rd, 2006 at 10:07 pm
Funny how this type of scam appeared on your blog. Just yesterday I read an article in the local newspaper about a girl that went to school with my sister. The article went on to say that she was looking for someone to rent out her house to, she made some postings online at a few local real estate websites the economy is booming here (Edmonton) and it’s nearly impossible to find a place to buy/rent. She received a reply almost immediately from a man in Ireland looking to send his daughter here for school, she wanted a $1400 down payment which included the damage deposit and they quickly made contact and he sent her a cheque. The cheque was for $4400 rather than the $1400 originally decided upon. She cashed the cheque anyways and he quickly contacted her (by phone) to say that he had accidentally sent her the wrong amount of money and could she please send him the difference back. She of course proceeded to take out the difference ($3000) and mailed him the cheque, she never heard from him again, and by the time her bank had noticed the “certified cheque” was fraudulent it was too late. Lesson be learned!
On note of the Ps3. If you could please drive it up to Edmonton for me that would be fantastic, maybe you should leave the Ferrari at home we got 10CM (4 inches) of snow today. We’ll go watch an Oilers game and I’ll teach you how to speak canadian.
Yours Truly,
Scam Artist from Canada
My main interest in getting a Ps3 would be to install Linux on it and use it as part of my MythTV media network in my house, it would make a perfect front end for the HDTV and I could pull the computer out of my living room. I work for IBM and we make the CELL processor in it so I’m fascinated with its inner workings
On November 24th, 2006 at 8:54 am
There was an article on Gizmodo explining how easy it is to swap out the 20 or 60 gig hard drive in the PS3 and snap in a 120 or 160 gig drive…for the ultimate.
What the hell is the drive in it for anyway? To save games??
On November 24th, 2006 at 9:26 am
The drive is for downloadable content like game add-ons, demos, trailers and likely patches as well, and of course saving your games. A few games use it to store some of the game content to speed up loading times as well. It’s just a standard 2.5″ sata hard drive so it should be easy to upgrade.
On November 24th, 2006 at 9:45 am
Interesting….thanks for the info.
Sorry to hear about your sister’s friend getting scammed. It’s become all too common.
On November 25th, 2006 at 9:51 pm
It seems as if everything is a scam nowdays, and I’m getting sick and tired of it.
I live in Ohio, and our very smart voters just passed a law making it illegal to smoke in public places. Yes, I’m a smoker, but I always try to be courteous and respectful, as most smokers do. Anyways, what the voters didn’t read in the huge bill was that smoking fines are now more expensive than marijuana fines. If I get caught smoking a cigarette while walking down the street, I’m going to get fined 200 dollars. But if I’m caught smoking a joint while walking down the street, I’m only fined 150 dollars. Can you say SCAM?? It’s all about the almighty dollar, and I’m sure Ohio is going to make millions off of this little scam.
Also, this wonderful state I live in has a seat-belt law, and you can be pulled over for not buckling up. Yes, many states have seat-belt laws, and I always buckle up, but please answer this for me—why is it illegal for me to not buckle up, but it’s okay if I ride a motorcycle without a helmet? Or children not being fastened into their seats on school buses? Can you say money SCAM???
Sorry for this long post, but I get so sick and tired of everyone trying to scam each other. People try to scam on the internet, as we’ve seen on here, and governments try to scam the very people who pay their salaries, the hard working public.
I guess we just can’t trust anyone anymore.
Okay, I feel better now that I’ve vented. But if I see an email from Nigeria, I’m gonna go postal. HaHa.
On November 25th, 2006 at 9:59 pm
Hey bro - I’m with you. I try not to touch politics on the blog, but a good friend of mine lives in Ohio (near Dayton) so I know the whole story.
I say buy a Harley and some weed and knock yourself out!
I live out west and here for smoking a joint in public you still go directly to prison. So be thankful that all they want to do there is reach in your pocket.
On November 25th, 2006 at 10:15 pm
Ohio is just ass-backwards.
We also voted against casino’s here, yet we can go to Indiana and Michigan to gamble if we want to. Wouldn’t it be smarter to just have casino’s HERE, and keep the money HERE?
What is wrong with people?
I’m sure your friend in Dayton has filled you in. Sorry for the political comments. It just pisses me off how stupid people are.
On December 2nd, 2006 at 2:32 pm
Hey Thomas:
This is Glenn. How you doin’? I love your site, man! I’m subscribing this week. I wanna know whatever to Courtny and her mother Jill? Have you ever seen them again? Tell me the truth-are they really mother and daughter or actresses? Get back to me on that will you? What other names do they go by? Hit me back, alright?
Glenn
On December 2nd, 2006 at 2:42 pm
Let me get back to you by email, bro.
On December 3rd, 2006 at 10:59 am
Hey Thomas:
This is Glenn again from yesterday. I forgot to ask you about one of your old amateurs, Katrina from 2002. Whatever happened to her? Damn, that girl had BIG TITS on her!!:)LOL! Yo,man!-Tell me what’s up and new with her, okay? My money order is on its way to ya this coming weekend, alright? Take care & have a great weekend!
Glenn
On December 3rd, 2006 at 11:08 am
She moved on, I think she’s on the East Coast now.
She actually reads the blog and if you snoop around you may find some of her comments.
On December 3rd, 2006 at 12:06 pm
Hey Thomas:
Glenn again! Thanks very much 4 update on Katrina, man! Don’t forget to email me back about Courtny & Jill, alright? Like I said, your money order is on its way! Your new friend 4 life!:)
Nothing but love 4 Ya!-Glenn
On December 16th, 2006 at 9:20 am
Hey Thomas:
This is Glenn again. I sent my payment to you a week ago, but so far I haven’t gotten that from you that you promised. You probably been too busy shooting new girls, Christmas shopping, or something. I still wanna know whatever happened to Jill and Courtny, okay? Are they performing for you or have they too since left the scene and moved on too? Keep me posted, man and Happy Holidays!
Glenn
On December 16th, 2006 at 10:17 am
Hey Glenn as far as I know they have moved on. I haven’t heard from them in ages, sorry.
As far as payments and things go, please just email me, it’s much faster and, of course, private.
On December 19th, 2006 at 11:30 am
Hey Thomas:
Glenn again, HI! I checked my email account and see that you finally got my membership, YAAH! Unfortunately, my laptop is in the shop for repair, but I’ll have it out in a couple of weeks. As far as Jill and Courtny are concerned, Oh well! As least you saved their movies on video(thank God for that!)Like you, I wish them both well. Anyway, Thomas, thanks again, man! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! Talk to again soon and email me when you can, alright? Peace!
Glenn
On December 27th, 2006 at 3:56 pm
So you gave the guy 100 bucks for trying to scam ya?? Your a better man than me, I woulda sent him a box of dead cats, that or a pipe bomb.. ha
On December 27th, 2006 at 4:01 pm
Hey man he lives in Nigeria. To me $100 isn’t a lot, bu tto a guy over there in Lagos, it’ll feed his family and keep him and his buddies high for a month.
I’m not huge on anon. charity, but when I can help one guy out, why the hell not.
On January 10th, 2007 at 8:50 am
HEY THOMAS:
HI AGAIN! IT’S ME GLENN. I WROTE YOU A VERY LONG EMAIL ABOUT TWENTY MINUTES. I’LL SAY IT AGAIN TO YOU-HAPPY NEW YEAR. WHEN YOU READ MY EMAIL, WRITE ME BACK, OKAY? I HAVE A LITTLE SUGGESTION FOR YOU SITE: START A “WHERE ARE THEY NOW?” LINK FOR PAST PERFORMERS. LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK. I SAW JILL AND COURTNY’S VIDEOS AND MAN, I WISH I COULD GIVE A HI-FIVE OVER THE NET! GOOD JOB, DOG!:)LOL!! OH BY THE WAY, I GOT A NEW LAPTOP! ANYWAY, THOMAS, THANKS AGAIN AND WILL RENEW FOR THE NEXT THREE MONTHS, OKAY? WHAT WOULD YOU CHARGE FOR A FULL YEAR? CAN’T WAIT FOR THE DVDS! TAKE CARE, THOMAS AND TALK TO AGAIN SOON!
GLENN