So, yes like most of you I’d happily live the rest of my days banging 21 year old hotties. BUT, variety is the spice of life. And…older chicks give better head. Seriously. Have you ever gotten a decent hummer from a woman under 24?

Yeah…no. They just don’t know how. And really, are super firm jugs a good trade for a dry, toothy BJ?

I think not my friends!!

So in my quest for the perfect oral I have moved up the scale. Not technically to MILFs as I think y’all know these days a 21 year old is as likely to be a MILF as a 41 year old. So I settled on your common everyday, but still hot 30-something. And I have learned some valuable lessons. Which I will share with you, my loyal reader[s].

Where to start? First off: Finding your prey. Actually, hot older chicks are totally easy to meet. Any 34 year old chick on MySpace is looking to get laid. Period. Also 30-something chicks are on the hunt all the time, so you’ll have better success hooking them on the job. My latest was a massage therapist I met during a massage, which is a bit of real game, mi amigos.

Next up, Hooking that snapper. The key is you have to play a different game than your bar game. Even if you are AT a bar, the game you have to play a different game. 30+ chicks are a little smarter. They respond to wit and actual conversation. I do a pretty decent cocky-funny rap and thus I’m pretty good at getting past their initial barriers. For example, I was on the table and the massage chick was kneading my dough and we were making conversation. She rolled me over and was giving the A-side some attention when she got a little too close to the dick so I said to her, “Easy babe, I always knew there was a reason you can’t spell therapist without the word ‘rapist’.” We had a laugh and the conversaion flowed onward nicely. On the way out I dropped this on her, “You know if you want to get closer to my package you’re going to have to let me buy you dinner.”

Bam, I had a number, a date and a kiss on the cheek. And, yes, I got that handjob at a later date. I’m working up to oral by date 3. Alas yes, older chicks still have the 3 date rule. But…man up guys! 3 dates, that’s not bad. Coffee is a date. Lunch is a date. Heh. Also you can double date, go for a drink, seque into breakfast..bam 2 dates.

If you’re read this far I can give you the Secret Poon Tip O’the Day, remember when you were 19 years old, gentlemen? When you had wood like a fucking lightsaber and would fuck anything that couldn’t run fast enough to get away? Oh yes…those days, gents. Well a 34 year chick has nearly as much testosterone running through her veins as you did then. Seriously. They are dying for some cock. Why not let it be yours? You can use this to your advantage. Women at their sexual peak don’t know how to deal with it. For 34 years they were in charge, they said yes or no to the sex.

Now? They have no control, all of a sudden the pussy is calling the shots.

We guys, we know what this is like. Since the age of 12 the cock has been the boss, but eventually after 10-20 years we learn to master it. Women? They have no clue.

Go out there and bag some MILF, guys.

Permalink