So, one day about a year ago I decided that this internet thing isn’t going anywhere. Which is good for me because I’m having a blast. Anyway when I made that decision I decided that it would be a good idea to buy something tangible with the money I’m making.

So I went out and bought a car.

Then my accountant mentioned that expensive cars are a bad investment. Doh!

So I went out and bought a bigger house. Which, I am reliably informed , IS a good investment. So after a few months I sold my tiny house and moved all my shit into my huge house. By huge I don’t mean Bill Gates huge but it’s like 6500 square feet which is a good size for a single guy with very little furniture. Especially for a single guy with very little furniture who is moving from a 1200 square foot house. Now I’m not great at math but I’d have to say that the new place is a whole lot bigger than the small one. Therein lies the problem.

I never wondered what it’d be like to have Alzheimer’s until now. Because now I know. You see in my small house I never misplaced things or lost things. If you have a decent amount of stuff and you live in a small space everything needs a place and that’s where it goes. You take it out, you put it back. if you lose something, well the first place you look is where it goes, its home and you’ll probably find it. The problem comes when you take 1200 square feet of stuff and speard it around 6500 square feet of space. Suddenly it’s not that important that everything go in its place. Basically you can leave stuff anywhere and it won’t really be in the way.

Of course when you need it you’ll have no idea where it is. Probably the thing I spend most of my life on these days is walking around the house muttering to myself, “Where the fuck is/are my [pen, shirt, hat, flashlight, allen wrench, vaccuum cleaner, car keys, dinner]” In fact this has become so bad that in the last month I’ve literally given up on finding things and just gone out and bought new ones in the hope that having two of them rattling around the house will increase my chances of finding at least one when I need it. I had a nice set of T-handled allen wrenches and I lost the 5mm. So I went right back to the dealer and bought a second set. Two days later and now I’ve lost two 5mm allen wrenches.

Fortunately I also lost the tripod who’s legs require a 5mm allen wrench so I’m good for now. Hopefully I’ll find the wrenches before the tripod.