So I was digging through my closet dresser the other day (I have one of those huge closet organizer dresser deals, I think the dude I bought my house from was a serious metrosexual, there are like 5,000 drawers in the freakin’ closet!) I mean I have a ton of clothes, but not because I’m fashion man, but because I’m too cheap to throw things away (I still have a ‘Free Kobe’ shirt!) and, anyway, I came upon what can only be called a panty collection.

Now this isn’t something I consciously created, like secretly stealing a pair from each of my conquests, er, romantic liasons, er, booty calls (let’s call them what they are). I guess it sort of got away from me because it was in a bottom drawer on the end. Anyway at some point, you bang a couple of girls at the house and they leave stuff behind. Like knickers.

A lot of knickers.

There must have been ten pairs in there! How many girls do you need to bang to get ten pairs of panties left at your house? Do chicks leave them there on purpose? I’m going to have to start observing, like are these girls leaving them to mark their territory? I looked at the sizes and there are least 6 different sizes. Now do girls wear different sizes of panties? Hmmmn. That means at least 6 women have been to my house, which seems high because I rarely have people over. (Think Rainman with a mortage, don’t ask.) Now I know who one belongs to because I only had one chick over to my house who wore g-strings. The other ones, I have no idea. How do you relate what size a chick’s ass is to what size panties she wears? Wait, the one chick I’ve had over most doesn’t even wear panties so she’s out. Hmmn this is a puzzle.

Anyway…shit five minutes to Jeopardy, gotta go.