Okay folks, here’s what I’ve got so far: a shit load of shirts, some panties, some random crap, some portfolios, a squirt gun, a beer cozy, a couple of DVDs and a money clip.

Who wants it, how bad do you want it? Post a reason, or send me an email with naked pictures of your girlfriend. Winner takes all.

Hey fellas. [And chick…there’s gotta be one, right?] The March porn convention is coming up, I’m usually pretty lazy about coverage, to me this stuff is kinda old hat, but I’m doing this for YOU, so here it is: request time! What do you want me to capture? What do you want to see? It’s your chance to go behind the scenes in the online adult industry. Ask away…

Shit man this season is good - better than last year by far.

My prediction, Ben’s “Man on the boat” is Michael.

Hot on the heels of the greatest .gif ever comes this - the greatest music video ever, toppling Whitesnake’s “Here I go again” in a single booty shake.

If you have an internet connection and eyes, surely you already know this cutie is internet sensation and honeymoon pornstar Jordan Capri.

I forget exactly how I stumbled upon this little gem. Probably surfing for interesting and heretofore unbeaten off to amateur porn, odds are.

The author is a lovely and literate vixen with a charming passion for all things carnal - even a nice fat facial. The thing of it is, for me? There’s nothing sexier than a chick who writes well about doin’ it.

So there. Chelsea Girl’s Pretty Dumb Things.